First, please ignore the “father” in the headline because this is a story about “parents”. But I couldn’t find a better headline, and thus this one.
Anyways, over the past four days, I’ve read two contrasting stories on the relationship between parents and children.
The first came from Aninda Baruah, who wrote about Google’s new CEO Sundar Pichai, who was born and bred in India. Aninda wrote about how Sundar’s parents sacrificed a lot to ensure that he got all the facilities for education. Almost all the money that his parents had saved was used to buy tickets for Sundar to fly to the US for his scholarship Master’s degree. [1]
He concluded his story thus…
…Sundar Pichai (or for that matter Satya Nadella, Indra Nooyi, Adobe CEO Shantanu Narayen), does not just owe his success to his IIT engineering degree, or Stanford University or Google. He owes it to that entire generation, including his parents, that created the culture of extreme personal sacrifice in favour of educating us.
Reading Sundar’s story, I’m sure his parents not only used their money to help their son, but also sacrificed their time to be with him through the most important times of his upbringing.
Anyways, the second story I read was from Devdutt Pattanaik, who wrote about Samba, the son of Lord Krishna and Jambavati. [2]
From disguising himself as Krishna and duping his father’s junior wives (for which Krishna cursed him), to attempting the kidnapping of Duryodhana’s daughter that led to war between the Kauravas and the Yadavas, Samba lived a chequered life. Samba is seen as a precedent of immoralities or adharma.
Devdutt traces the reason for Samba’s such behaviour to his father Krishna’s neglect. He writes…
Can we wonder if Samba was a product of his father’s neglect? For was not Krishna spending most of his time with Arjuna and the Pandavas and in the politics of Kuru-kshetra? There are hardly any stories of Krishna as father. He is friend, philosopher and guide to Arjuna, but the only stories of father and son are of tension, rage and violence.
You see the contrast in the two stories, separated by almost 5,000 years? Both showcase the relationship between a parent and child – only that the first one is of sacrifice (Sundar) and the second one of neglect (Samba). And see the consequences of both.
When parents spend time guiding their children well, the results could be amazing (both for parents and children). And when parents neglect their children, the results could be disastrous.
And we are seeing more cases of neglect these days, mostly from well-meaning parents but who are extremely busy in the ‘work’ side of their lives. As Devdutt writes…
Somewhere along the line we have attached our value and our purpose and our identity to our work and our achievements. Family is not seen as achievement. Children are not seen as purpose. They are seen as obligations, duties, by-products of existence, even collateral damage. In families we don’t feel like valorous heroes. In the 20th century, in the post-Industrialized world, family is seen as emasculating baggage.
…Parenting has been outsourced to maids, teachers, computers, videogames and grandparents….Absent parents rationalize how office is more important than the children: we need the money, the children eventually grow up, surely our needs are also important.
And so many great Krishnas in the workplace discover that they have nurtured Samba at home: sons who either follow destructive paths as they seek attention, or sons who make way away from parents, as they have grown used to not having them around. Who wins? Corporations? More workforce (husbands and wives), more hours (always on smart phones), more attention (telecoms). Corporations were supposed to create wealth for the family. Now families are creating only workers for the corporation. We have many more Krishnas in this generation and maybe many Sambas in the next.
Not Money…Your Child Needs Your Time
Warren Buffett said this to a shareholder in his 2008 meeting…
I tell the students that the most important job you have is being the teacher to your children. You are the ultimate teacher. You are this great big thing that provides warmth and food and everything else while they are learning about the world. And they are not going to change a lot when they get into graduate school…
And you don’t get any rewind button. You don’t get to do it twice. So you have to do your best as a teacher – and you teach by what you do, not by what you say, with these young things.
And by the time they have gotten to this place where they are entering formal school, they have probably learned more from you than they are ever going to learn from anybody else.
I have been working from home over the past four years. And what I have realized staying close to my 10-year old daughter is that the best time she has during the entire day is the time she spends with me, her mother, and her younger brother.
Not any toy, not any visit to the mall, not the cartoon channels, and not even the videogame…all she wants is for her parents to spend some quality time with her.
And believe me, even a child as small as 4-5 years old (I look at my son) understands clearly his priorities in life.
It’s only when we parents flip the priorities to our convenience – first provide them everything that money can buy, and only then give them our time if it’s available – that the child starts to believe that this is the way life is to be lived.
My daughter, who earlier believed that all money that I brought home came from the ATM, now knows the value of money and that it is earned by way of hard work – only because I took out time to explain this to her.
“But you work from home Vishal, and thus have all the time in the world to spend with your child,” you might say. “I don’t have that much time as I work on a job and stay out of home for a large part of my day.”
I understand that, my friend!
But then, not hours or days, what a child needs from her parents are a few minutes of ‘devoted’ time each day. Nothing else would please her!
She won’t need your money or your investments that you are making for her higher education (these are, if at all, bonuses to make her future comfortable).
All she will need is for you to spend some quality time with her – understand what else makes her happy and what makes her sad.
“Vishal is getting philosophical here!” you might wonder. “Why is he telling all this on a platform meant to discuss investing ideas?”
Well, I am writing this because all investment ideas and advice about saving and investing for a child’s future would come to naught if the child’s present is not taken care of well…less financially and more emotionally.
After all, this is what I have learned from my daughter – Children need to know that they are important. They need to know they are loved and they need to know they are secure.
Your pleasure from your new house and your latest pay raise may subside. But the amazing experience you have from the good times you spend with your child will never fade.
Your child needs time with you. She needs your undivided attention. She needs to make happy memories with you. She needs to laugh with you. She needs to learn from you.
And as Buffett said, you don’t get any rewind button. You don’t get to do it twice. So you have to do your best as a parent and teacher – and you teach by what you do, not by what you say, with these young things.
Life can pull you in a thousand directions, and you might ignore it especially when your child is little. But remember – She won’t stay little for long.
A Chinese proverb reads thus…
If you are planning for a year, sow rice; if you are planning for a decade, plant trees; if you are planning for a lifetime, educate children.
So, slow down…take some time…give some time…invest some time in your children. It may have unusually great payoffs…as Sundar’s story teaches us (and even without a payoff, you would’ve done a great job).
But What about Your Parents?
Well, this brings me to the other side of the equation, and one that is often neglected – our parents.
It amazes me when I talk to people about their family’s financial priorities. In many cases (and I’m not trying to generalize this), when I ask them what they want to save and invest for, here is the list that is drawn out, and in terms of highest to lowest priorities…
- Children’s education and marriage
- My retirement
- Bigger house
- Foreign holiday
“…and what else?” I ask.
“And what? Nothing else!” they reply.
“What about your parents? Are they not part of your family or financial priorities?”
There’s a silence…mostly followed by “Oh yeah, I forgot that!” explanations.
I can understand the reason behind this irony when children stop counting parents as part of their family (which is largely made up of “me, my wife, and my kids”) and will tell you what I understand…but before that, here’s another story…
My Story
“Study hard, Vishal! You have to become ‘something’ in life someday. Don’t waste your time roaming around here and there with your friends. Remember that these are the two most important years of your life. Go and make full use of them.”
These were my father’s words as I was packing my bags. I was going to Bombay to attend an MBA course. This was the year 2001.
I had heard such a sermon from him so many times in my life earlier. Being a civil engineer and a topper from his batch, my father is a well-educated and well-read man. He has been a very caring father, but in those days, I often took his extra care for me as interference in my life’s decisions.
He knew the payback for hard work, despite the fact that he himself could not practice engineering due to the needs of joining the family business. But he was very particular that his son needs to study hard and become “something in life someday”. My mom was no different, always pushing me to achieve higher things in life through hard work and dedication.
I was tired of their tirades and thus an MBA from Bombay was akin to ‘freedom’…from the bondage that I thought my parents had imposed on me. I was weary of the daily rants of “Do this…do that!”
“It’s my life! Why are you worried so much? Let me do things my way, and you stay clear of it!” I would imagine myself telling them at so many times.
Well, this was till the time I became a parent myself.
As I mentioned earlier, I have a daughter of 10 years, and a son of 4, and I can feel the pressure of being a parent – the immense responsibility accompanied by fear that comes from knowing that there’s someone who, if not guided by you carefully, can end up losing her way in this big-big world.
I’m sure the way I felt the pressure of my parents being behind my back, pushing me to ‘behave well, study hard, work harder’, my daughter must already be feeling it.
Let’s Take Care of Our Parents
It’s now that I realize the importance of my parents’ upbringing – the values they taught me, and the way they guided me through life’s think and thins.
And not just me, I can see this realization in a lot of my friends who are going through the same pressure of being parents…the ‘pressure’ that that they mocked at when they were children and ‘bore the brunt’ of their parents’ consistent ranting and lecturing.
It’s now that I feel that grown-up children must change their views on parenting and treat their parents exactly the way they want to get treated at their children’s hand. I know it sounds selfish, but there’s no other way for this world to get its lost love and compassion back.
“Your parents, they give you your life, but then they try to give you their life,” said Chuck Palahniuk, the noted American fiction novelist.
In today’s world, where people are so tied up in work that they can see and think nothing but themselves, the parent-child relationship is standing at the brink of a deep crisis – and that’s what I understand is the reason why many of us children keep our parents out of your financial priorities.
As a young, modern society, we seem to have lost a huge part of our compassion towards our parents. We’ve become insensitive to the core values we were taught as children. Like me, even you must have been raised by parents who believed in the validity of a handshake and touching elders’ feet, and the importance of treating others as they themselves expected to be treated.
But tragically, as our parents age, they are faced with the realization and loss of these basic rules that binds our lives.
Just step back and reflect on the dignity that is owed to your ageing parents. Keep in mind what is hard for us as children, is ten-fold harder for our parents. Know that the process of growing old brings with it moments of freedom and joy, but it also carries fear and loss of personal worth.
The “what if’s” of life has become a reality and the ageing parents find themselves torn between living an independent life, and being dependent on their children.
Remember they never left us alone or afraid, and never ignored us as children. Instead, they always kept us close at hand and heart…always watching us carefully…always present for us though all our pains and trouble…always there.
When the roles reverse (like for me and maybe you, it has already reversed), we must remember to love and treat our parents with dignity and honour — for without them, we would be nothing.
We must change the way we treat our parents – physically, emotionally, financially – by preserving their dignity as they surrender to their ageing body and weakening soul.
This is probably the best gift of gratitude we as children can offer to them. After all, most of what we’ve learned…we’ve learned from our parents. If for nothing else, they have earned the right to earn our compassion, our gratitude, and a place in our financial priorities.
I can imagine a world where every child respects his parents and gets respect from his/her child. It would indeed be a wonderful world!
What do you say?
Notes:
[1] An Entire Generation Sacrificed. And Google Gets Its New CEO
[2] Children of the Great
Wonderful post!
The best investment advice ever..
Keep it up.
Thanks Ankit!
Heart touching post. You seem to make me think about realigning my priorities…
Vishal,
Great post..
I like the parallel way – two stories, rather three stories in a post..
Can’t agree more.. Nice to know your views on these important – but often neglected issues of life..
WB’s words are profound; so is the story of Krishna & his son Samba. Thanks for sharing..
This is by far among the best posts !!
Best wishes n regards,
Jayesh Pankaj Matani
Thanks Jayesh!
Hi Vishal,
Too Good. The 2 posts you refer to are also worth a read.
Best Wishes,
Samir
Thanks Samir!
Nice work Vishal!
You are a wonderful parent and philosopher… 🙂
I haven’t married yet, at about your age…took care of my dad who passed a few years ago …now staying away from home..probably not with your kind of money.. 🙂 Any philosophical suggestions …
Cheers!
G
Thanks George! I’m too young and immature to suggest anything. 🙂
Dear Vishal,
The message of the article is good but comparing Krsna and a human being in terms of parental duty is naive. Krsna is God as per our scriptures and comparing Krsna with an ordinary human being is foolish in the words of the respected Vaishnav saint Srila Prabhupada. If Krsna can take care of so many living creatures then can’t he take care of a single son. Whatever God does, there is a greater plan to it and it is difficult to understand how complexities of karma are balanced by him. As Kaliyuga was approaching, the invincible Yadav clan were meant to be destroyed and therefore a boon was asked by Lord Krsna from Lord Shiva (Lord of Destruction) for a child who would bring destruction to entire clan hence leading to the birth of Samba from Jambavati. This also highlighted the fact that even the mighty Yadav clan was not free from the clutches of Kaliyuga(dark age).
The power and might which is required to fight with great warriors like Bhishma, Karna, Duryodhana cannot be compared with the achievement of becoming a CEO of a company like Google. Samba was a great warrior and he single handedly fought with Kurus although as destined he ended up bringing destruction of his own clan.
Krsna could have chosen any other person to bring an end to the Yadav clan but choosing his own son shows the exalted quality of ‘detachment’ which is present in God in abundance and he comes to this planet to bring order to the society rather than forming permanent material relationships.
I am not an expert on Indian Mythology but whatever little I know is because of the grace of my Guru and reading books written by Srila Prabhupada.
Thanks and Regards,
Saurav Jalan
Thanks Saurav!
My idea was not to draw comparisons, but just to share the stories I read and reflect on how the parent-child relationship has come to be in the modern society.
Regards,
Vishal
By the way Saurav, here’s something I read today…
Within infinite myths lies an eternal truth
Who sees it all?
Varuna has but a thousand eyes
Indra, a hundred
You and I, only two.
Excellent reply.
People should be more careful when drawing comparisions, although it is intended to make a valid point.
When I look at the multi bagger stocks most of them have come from companies where employees worked hard and spent time away from their children and families for the betterment of the organizations and thereby increase shareholder value and indirectly benefit the long term value investors. Not easy in today’s times to find companies which allow for healthy work life balance and at the same time increase value for the shareholders. There are a few companies like that no doubt but these are exceptions and not the rule.
Maheswar, there’s much-much more to life than stock market returns. 🙂
Agree Vishal there is more to life than stock market returns. My point is there are people out there who don’t spend enough time with their families but are doing some great things in life. For ex: soldiers on the front lines of various countries, the early explorers Columbus, Magellan, Captain scott et al who went on to explore uncharted territories, the astronauts of today, the sports persons and the coaches etc. Many of the inventions and discoveries have come from fanatics who were passionate about their work and who spent more time on their work than with their families.
My personal choice is work life balance and spending time with family even if it affects my financial perks etc but I have a lot of respect for the people who have put their passion and work above their families.
In my view your post has simplified a complex topic into a couple of black and white scenarios. This is my view and I could be wrong. My two cents worth on this topic. Best wishes.
Thanks Maheswar! My point is not against spending time at work, but spending time with children and parents, if possible. Regards.
Hi Vishal,Coudn’t agree more to your views as penned in this lovely thought provoking article. Thanks for writing this out.
Sundar Pichai became CEO of Google not because his parents done many sacrifices but he had that talent in him. But as he said he owes his success to his parents sacrifice.
There are many Sundar’s out there although after a lot of their parents sacrifices and guidance (sometimes even meticulous micro management) didn’t get through or even worst went into a wrong path (may be due to bad friendships).
p.s; I am not saying anything wrong, but I want to say ONLY IN HINDSIGHT we can say all these things.
Thanks Kumar! Sundar or Samba are only examples I used to share a key message. Regards.
That’s true, Kumar. And that’s why you would find a few cans and coulds in my post. Even when parents are doing their best, they need to keep probabilities in mind. And the probability of turning out a successful, happy adult where the parents played a part, is high. Regards.
Dear Vishal,
Your understanding of day to day happenings and relationships is amazing. Content of this writing is very judicious, sensitive and felt need of the time.
How justified you are, when you explain to so busy parents that “not hours or days, only few minutes” of devoted quality time each day – so beautifullly balanced the bilateral concerns. I think parents need to realize that none of their duties and liabilities can outweight the top most priority – their children.
Expression of your concerns towards loving parents turned me emotional. Blessed are the children to have devoted and sensible father like you and very fortunate are the parents whose son is arousing today’s young and modern society to feel and realize the legitimate duties – so much overlooked.
Every morning if people, instead of checking mails and messages, could roam through their sweet childhood memories for a while. I hope this simple routine practice as a reminder of their memorable quality time in their life would certainly compell them to realize the “earned right” of the parents and dignity of ageing parents could definitely be preserved thus diminishing and rather eliminating the need of ‘senior citizen homes’ in this country of unique family culture.
Teaching an innocent child that it is not the ATM but the hard work which gives money points to your acumen to notice unnoticed things and this TALENT could be a background for future ONLINE COUNSELLING COURSES for families.
God bless you Vishal. You are a wonderful human being.
Regards,
Dr. Khare
Thanks for your kind words, Dr. Khare, and also for your wonderful thoughts! I loved your thought about spending a part of the morning time roaming through our childhood memories. Regards.
Hi vishal . It’s was a good to read your article and agrees with you at some points. Parenting in today’s world is in transit phase. Having their own pros and cons the modern living is playing a crucial role in any relationship between people. San modernisation or you can say technological advancement our relationship within the family and in the society would be better. We r paying a heavy price for the luxuries of life
Indeed Aditi. Thanks!
Loved this post sir but their are times when you have to make decisions like leaving your parents for a job. It kills me not going home for 6 months and meeting them but I can’t help it .
That’s true Kanv. I empathize with you. Regards.
Hey Vishal,
This was superb piece, will cherish for a long time.
Would like chat will you.
Twitter/Blog are one-way communication.
Would like will to take a morning/evening walk with you.
Regards
Freeman
Thanks Freeman! Where do you live? 🙂
Very good perspective. Inculcating values and creating healthy environment for kids is in our hands. At the same time we have to tackle the changing external environment. So balance is key. But having this background thought always helps.
Indeed Shridhar. Thanks!
Beautifully written Vishal. Have recently started following you. You are great thinker. Hope our young generation reads this and understand the value of Parents as well as children and take out time to invest in the right place. Keep up the good work. All the best. Cheers!!!
Thanks for your kind words, Gaurav!
This is one of the best investment advice I received after a long time . Appreciate that in your blogs you are not only focusing on financial investment but other aspects of life.
Thanks for your kind words, Kaushik!
Thank you for writing this ! I owe you ..
Thanks Aditya!
This story is really written good and every parent has to think twice before putting their kids to day care for just earning some extra money.
Thanks Krishna!
HI Vishal,
Last two days I have discussion with my wife about this article. It is so inspirational and there is something great with your thoughts. It is not just about good thought, but bringing that into writing is not easy for everyone. You can compile all of your posts about life lessons and publish a book. It will be good motivational reading for young generation.
Thank You,
Krishna Srinivasan
Thanks for your kind words Krishna…and also for the nice suggestion! Regards.
Dear Vishal
Good Afternoon to you
As you know me,I am a man of many words….but for this post of yours…..I will describe it in just one word…..”GREAT”
Thanks and Regards
Happy Caring
Reni George
Thanks as always, Reni! 🙂
Profound!
Sometimes the obvious needs to be reminded..
Would like to read more of your thoughts on “slowing down”.
May be you could dedicate a section on your blog/site to such non-investment posts.. find them even more appealing than the investment ones 🙂
Thanks Himanshu!
Well, you can check more of my non-investment posts here.
Hi Mr. Vishal,
Got to know about your blog through my friend. He mailed me this link just to make me go through this and he not only insisted but forced me to read this. I really appreciate that he told me about this article and your blog. Now I have bookmarked your blog on my mobile for regular visits.
By the way, I’m having a 3 year old daughter and I could visualise the things you wrote in this article that how small-small things make kids so happy and makes you glee at those moments.
To add to this article I would like to share a philosophy which my father shares, which indeed I also believe in hard. He says that always keep a part of your savings for yourself, this will not make you over reliant on your children after retirement, cos God knows what times may come ahead.
Again, I appreciate the views shared in this article.
Ashish Asopa
Thank you so much Ashish! Please thank your friend on my behalf. 🙂
Here is something I wrote long time back that goes well with your father’s philosophy.
Regards,
Vishal
Nice write-up, Vishal! And thanks for the (many) reminders!
Thanks Madhu!
Vishal,
Thanks for this b’ful post. I am an on-off reader of your blog.
After reading this post I couldn’t help but stop and say thank you for this wonderful post.
It does help in bringing the desired balance & perspective that is lost in the daily rut of life.
The challenge will be to keep it fresh in ones head and not get lost as the life takes on.
Thanks,
Atul
Thanks for your kind words, Atul!
This is a great article Vishal. A very touching one indeed.
This article conveys so important a messag which it seems is forgotten so easily these days.
Thank you for writing it.
Thanks for your kind words, Avishek!
Lovely post, Vishal. I am not a very frequent reader of this site, but do hope to change that. Don’t yet have kids, but having studied a bit of neuroscience, cognition, and some random books from the vedic literature, they all seem to concur that the experiences leading to brain development till about the age of 7-yrs is very critical.
Lovely thoughts expressed on the aspects relating to our parents as well. Nice to read about that Krishna story too. Although I don’t really believe in mythology, but the stories are certainly potent.
Thanks for your kind words, Vijay! Regards.
Dear Mr. Vishal
Could you please give some information about your next Art of Investing workshop, when and where are you planning to conduct? I have missed attending one to learn about investing. I am presently living in Goa
Thank you
Sudarshan
Hi Vishal,
Thank you. That was thought provoking and a great reminder. somethings just cant be over-emphasized.
Regards
Jayashree
Thanks Jayashree!
Loved the post, very well said vishal 🙂
Thanks Konda!
Taking liberty of mentioning you as my friend, forwarded this article to my workplace team. Have read both the articles already and your views are nothing less compared to them.
My best wishes to your life long career as a teacher.
Thanks for your kind words, Mrityunjay! Regards.
Hi Vishal,
Read this post today. While reading the initial part (parent – child), I was already thinking of suggesting you write one more post on the other side (child – parent). On reading further, was delighted to read about the second side too.. As someone, who is fortunate to be able to live with his parents, while they are in their 70s, I could relate to the latter part of your post and felt a surge of emotions. I have seen my mother give up on a growing teaching career, so she could spend more time with me and my sister during our formative years. I can never repay her and my father enough for their sacrifices.
Incidentally, today I received the following message on whatsapp.
This was narrated by an IAF pilot to IIT students during a Seminar on Human Relations:
Venkatesh Balasubramaniam (who works for IIT) describes how his gesture of booking an air ticket for his Father, his maiden flight, brought forth a rush of emotions and made him (Venkatesh) realise that how much we all take for granted when it comes to our parents.
My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we went to the airport to see them off.
In fact, my father had never traveled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make him experience the same.
In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on Jet Airways.
The moment I handed over the tickets to him, he was surprised to see that I had booked them by air..
The excitement was very apparent on his face, waiting for the time of travel.
Just like a school boy, he was preparing himself on that day and we all went to the airport, right from using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage check-in and asking for a window seat and waiting restlessly for the security check-in to happen.
He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching him experience all these things.
As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me.
He became very emotional and it was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this meant a great deal to him.
When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me.
But later, thinking about the entire incident, I looked back at my life.
As a child, how many dreams our parents have made come true.
Without understanding the financial situation, we ask for cricket bats, dresses, toys, outings, etc.
Irrespective of their affordability, they have catered to all our needs.
Did we ever think about the sacrifices they had to make to accommodate many of our wishes?
Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us?
Same way, today when it comes to our children, we always think that we should put them in a good school.
Regardless of the amount of donation, we will ensure that we will have to give the child the best, theme parks, toys, etc.
But, we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed a lot for our sake to see us happy, so it is our responsibility to ensure that their dreams are realised and what they failed to see when they were young.
It is our responsibility to ensure that they experience all those and their life is complete.
Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have actually answered back without patience.
When my daughter asks me something, I have been very polite in answering.
Now, I realise how they would have felt at those moments.
Let us realise that old age is a second childhood and just as we take care of our children, the same attention and same care needs to be given to our parents and elders.
Rather than my Dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry for making him wait so long for this small dream.
I do realise how much he has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best possible attention to all their wishes.
Just because they are old does not mean that they will have to give up everything and keep sacrificing for their grandchildren also.
They have wishes, too..
Take care of your parents.
THEY ARE PRECIOUS!
KEEP THIS MESSAGE GOING BY SENDING IT TO YOUR FRIENDS As I Did………????????????
Wonderful! Thanks for sharing this beautiful story, Navtej. Regards.
Hey Man, thanks for sharing this .
A great work for today s parents…
Today’s parents just trying their name in sons progress report and not thinking beyond it…building a society if some one does his own family will ruien a true example of Krishna and also Mahatma Gandhi whose family is not taken care but worked for Pandavas and Pandit jis family… So as you rightly said there should be a Scrafice and also build a eco system to give back love by the off springs to reciprocate it to family with above examples…
Thanks Ravikanth!
priceless words Vishal. Invaluable lesson for everyone who is getting into a rat race forgetting his roots, ignoring the very foundation that still stands beneath one’s dreams. Investing time with parents and children is like getting a potetial multibagger below book value while the market is trading at a 50 multiple. thanks for sharing
True, Nikunj. Thanks for your kind words!
Though this article made be bit uncomfortable but it is very nice and touching written for not making us intelligent investor but intelligent being.
I also have a feeling in last few years I become very cold and even when I am speaking to my mother, I never gave her attention. Sometimes I feel even guilty of this. I feel i am just concerned about making money. Even when she is telling me she is not well, I talked to her, call her daily , ask about medicines but I feel feelings are missing from me.
Once I went to foreign for business purpose for 4 months, I called my wife and mother there for 1 week for holidays. I am realizing instead of spending more money If I spend more time with them, it would be better. Sometimes, I also feel hollow. Gradually I have realized this and now focuses giving more attention to everyithng and cultivating love and empathy in my life.
Touching. Thanks for sharing a valuable thought Vishal.
Hi, Vishal!
What if a person decides to not have children?
Such a lovely post, Vishal. Apt for every parent. Reminds me of your adage “Children don’t learn from what you say, they learn by observing what you do.”
Superb Read! Got going vishal bhai
Hi Vishal,
One of the best articles I have read over the time which I totally support and respect. Thank you very much from bottom of my heart because in today’s time when we all are busy with our hectic life its very important to understand one thing that whatever we are is because of our parents and when we as parents expect our children to respect us its our duty to pass on the same to our parents and show respect n gratitude. Keep writing n sharing such great thoughts.
Great message Vishal but could have used some other example; analyzing Lord Krishna’s activities as of an ordinary human’s is utterly foolish.
“Bramha samhita – Ishwara param krishna sachidanand vigraha anadir adir govind sarva Karan karanam : means that the Supreme Lord Krishna who is made up of eternity , knowledge and bliss is the cause of all causes. He and other incarnations like Lord Ram not made of same matter like you and me…though they appear to be.
Most of your readers are from India, have been brought up with good Samskars..seeing their parents devotion to Lord Krishna, Lord Ram, Lord Buddha and others. Yes, most of the times our parents/grandparents performed rituals without having in depth understanding of the Absolute Truth. But they gave enough Sukriti/Good Karma/environment to us for learning the highest principles..to really understand “Science of the Soul”…Science of God. To really understand real problems of Life: Birth, Death, Old Age and Disease. Yes, we must be compassionate and caring but must also strive to understand the Ultimate Cause/Truth.
Supreme Lord is beyond our intellect. But if we’re truly humble in our quest to know Him..to know the intricacies of our existence and beyond…He most certainly reveals to us. And that revelation is very different from what Devdutt Pattanaik experienced. It’ll be the Ultimate Bliss/joy.. that one can never experience on this material plane…all the secrets/mysteries will be revealed. From time immemorial; the sages, rishis, munis have experienced this and shared the path in many of our scriptures. We all can also strive for the same but the basic qualification is Humility..otherwise we’ll continue to be baffled by Maya/the covering..in one way or another. Buffet, Munger, Franklin (I have great respect for them) can help with material efforts/success but not in our Eternal Quest, not in the Ultimate/Real solution/happiness that we all are seeking.
Such posts/articles mislead the pious readers/blog subscribers. It can make them atheistic, deprive them of their ultimate Quest, drive them away from our rich Spiritual Heritage.
I’m a big fan of your work. Happy to see many learning personal finance and other valuable topics here.
Thanks,
Vikas
brilliant post and good read
i feel we ought to have a reason for being to give our life meaning and what better reason then nurturing our children.Your words have stirred me to think on those lines from now on. Thank you Vishal Sir