Question: I’ve faced failure recently, and it feels like my entire identity is wrapped up in what I’ve lost. How do you move forward when failure seems so final?
Response:
Failure hurths. Let’s just get that out of the way. It’s heavy, humiliating, and—if you’re like me—it feels deeply personal. When I’ve failed, it wasn’t just a setback, but felt like I was the failure.
The hardest ‘failure’ I ever faced was tied to my career. I had built up this image of myself as someone who was going places. Then the financial crisis hit in 2008, and my carefully constructed plans came crashing down. For months, I kept replaying it in my head: What could I have done differently? What does this say about me?
The answer didn’t come overnight. But over time, I realized that failure isn’t the end of the road; it’s the beginning of a new one. It’s like that Rumi quote: “Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead, let life live through you.” Sometimes, the road you’re on isn’t the one you’re meant to stay on.
I started asking myself, “What can I learn from this?” At first, the answers were painful—lessons about humility, resilience, and letting go of control. But those lessons became the foundation for everything I’ve done since.
Failure strips away the inessential. It’s uncomfortable, but it forces you to ask, “Who am I without this success?” The answer is deeper than you think.
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