I was an average student in school. Though I was surrounded by high achievers, and never questioned the importance of being extraordinary, I somehow never expected myself to rise to their levels. The most common remark I found in my annual report cards read something like this – “An obedient boy who can do better than average with more hard work.”
I knew I could not work any harder and rise above being average.
Anyways, I never had the credentials to get into the best college after school, there were no scholarships on offer for me, and no one in my family, including myself, expected me to become a star in life.
Life continued this way even when I got into doing my MBA, again from an average college in Mumbai. My first job profile was average too, and it paid an average salary that, in my father’s eyes, was below average.
Living in a costly city like Mumbai also meant I never had better than average savings for the first few years of my life, even though I was saving as much as possible.
More than twenty-five years have passed since I started considering myself as an average person with average capabilities and average ambitions in life. Somehow, being like this in the world where people are seeking alpha, keeps me happy and satisfied with myself.
In fact, when my kids asked me a choice of name for myself if I were a superhero, I could not think of anything else but “Average Man.”
Keeping my head down, working on things I love doing, spending time with people I love, and not worrying where the race is headed and where I stand in ‘alpha-dom,’ I think has kept me somewhat sane over the years.
This has helped me in my investing too, where not chasing “above-average” returns has helped me stay away from hot sectors and stocks for most of my investment career, and in turn achieve adequate returns that have helped me meet my goals so far without having to resort to any heroics.
Don’t get me wrong here. I am not talking about not trying to be the best in your life and investing, or not being exceptional in things that matter the most to you.
All I am suggesting is that settling with just becoming a better version of yourself even if it is average and unexceptional as per the society’s standards, is all you need to live a contented, happy life.
Earning adequate returns on your investments that help you sleep peacefully at night, instead of chasing super-normal returns that the ‘rockstar’ investors surrounded by you are achieving by taking greater risks, is all you need to meet your financial goals.
The problem is that our society and culture values high achievement in every area of our lives. We want to become alpha men and women, have the brightest careers, accomplished children, ideal bodies, investment performances that beat everyone, and financial prosperity that leads us to possess more stuff than others.
Amidst this, being satisfied with having “enough” is considered shameful. Being unambitious is considered lazy. Thinking “I have enough” is a sin. “Average” is a dirty word.
I recently read an article written by one Krista O’Reilly, which echoed exactly what I have felt about being average all my life –
The world is such a noisy place. Loud, haranguing voices lecturing me to hustle, to improve, build, strive, yearn, acquire, compete, and grasp for more. For bigger and better. Sacrifice sleep for productivity. Strive for excellence. Go big or go home. Have a huge impact in the world. Make your life count.
But what if I just don’t have it in me? What if all the striving for excellence leaves me sad, worn out, depleted? Drained of joy. Am I simply not enough?
Over the years, I have asked such questions to myself many times. Is there anything wrong with being average? And how do I balance this against my momentary instincts to succeed?
In the first few years of starting Safal Niveshak, I worked extremely hard to establish myself. I wrote endless blog posts and spent countless hours building the website and my profile on social media. I also worked hard on building and then deepening my investing skills. I tasted success, and I enjoyed it.
But life just went on. I achieved more than I could have ever dreamed of – both in my writing and investing careers – but somewhere still had this tingling feeling that there was still more to it, and that I was still inadequate in a crowd of people who were chasing and achieving higher grounds in life.
Over time, this feeling settled in well, and I went back to being satisfied with whatever I have already achieved so far.
There is so much more I could do with my career. Write and publish books, appear more on television, speak at big events, manage other people’s money, advise on investment portfolios, and make a lot more money doing all this. And then…?
Or I could just enjoy what I’m doing and be content and happy.
You see, I have nothing against high achievers who set the bar higher and higher for themselves and others. But that’s simply not a game I want to participate in, for high achievers are constantly looking forward, and are rarely, if ever, satisfied. That’s not a way of life that suits me.
Mark Manson has written a brilliant post in defense of being average, wherein he concludes –
The ticket to emotional health, like physical health, comes from eating your veggies — that is, through accepting the bland and mundane truths of life: a light salad of “you’re actually pretty average in the grand scheme of things” and some steamed broccoli of “the vast majority of your life will be mediocre.” This will taste bad at first. Very bad. You will avoid eating it.
But once ingested, your body will wake up feeling more potent and more alive. After all, that constant pressure to always be something amazing, to be the next big thing, will be lifted off your back. The stress and anxiety of feeling inadequate will dissipate. And the knowledge and acceptance of your own mundane existence will actually free you to accomplish what you truly wish to accomplish with no judgments and no lofty expectations.
You will have a growing appreciation for life’s basic experiences. You will learn to measure yourself through a new, healthier means: the pleasures of simple friendship, creating something, helping a person in need, reading a good book, laughing with someone you care about.
Sounds boring, doesn’t it? That’s because these things are average. But maybe they’re average for a reason. Because they are what actually matter.
In the end, know that while it’s fine to be a learning machine, you may never become the wisest person. You may like to write but that doesn’t mean you will become the greatest writer. You may work hard to pick your stocks but that doesn’t mean you will the best investor out there.
In great probability, you will just be average in most or all of these and other things which, by the way, is perfectly fine!
And like mine, you will have a slow, simple, quiet life. An average life. One, that I think, would be enough.
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Lovely thought process and something I also relate to. I agree that we should not give up in bettering ourselves. But this attempt should be solely for ourselves, to be a better version of ourselves and not because the world and everyone around us is racing ahead, god knows where!
Very good 👍👌🙏 Vishal Ji. You described your honest feelings. Thanks and regards 😊
Vishal…you just said my story……It’s so true!
Vishal,
Rightly said – Be the best you can be and not in comparison to anyone. It doesn’t matter.
After all, Contentment is in the mind, nothing to do with your achievements, wealth, position, etc. You can have all or nothing and still be discontent or have all or nothing and still be content.
Be it the deep & profound Bhagvad Gita… or…Alexander (one of the greatest western Alpha male icon) – it is said that you came empty-handed and will go empty-handed.
In the final analysis, all that really matters is how much Love you gave!
Good luck being Average 🙂
Anuroop
—-
PS – I sensed a subtle hint of “average” sounding slightly defensive.
Happy to read you sir. You are great inspiration for me and many. You are true legend. Respect.
-Balu Gorade
Excellently written. Even having an average life is considered to be unsuccessful by the standards of the society while majority of the people(who are the judges)in the society are AVERAGE( who considers them to be successful based on their illusions about themselves). BTW, you not average you’re exceptional in writing.
Thanks for writing this. It is beautiful and much needed in today’s world.
I personally feel it’s a blessing in disguise to be content with average. To be able to do and be okay with that. If i’m not wrong, I think Munger / Buffett did talk about lower expectations, sometime somewhere.
It’s much better than us fools who believed we were destined to do extraordinary things, to impact the world, have everyone know our name, and were taught to always strive and not be okay with status-quo.
However, as I write this, I wonder if this (being content with average) may also make a person less ambitious. I think there’s a fine line here which I might be missing.
You are right. The side effect of being content is being less ambitious. One way to avoid that is to “aspire of doing something rather than becoming somebody”. Eg: aspire to drive the car well rather than aspire to become the best driver. You still have the ambition to improve your driving without competing with others to get the best driver title.
Sir I am still in my college and working quite hard to build my company.
Doing this has given in tussle between time given to friends, family vs goal of a big business.
I want to have both. Please guide me how to pursue and live happily coz I feel pretty stressed out nowadays
Let’s do work to get established, then you will have enough time to enjoy with friends and family and get relaxed. Chill!
Since long waiting for reading some Simple Stuff about life. Almost 18 years to read such a beautiful Article.
Now I understand why it is difficult to be simple.
Very well written sir!
The line which really struck to me was .. “In the end, know that while it’s fine to be a learning machine, you may never become the wisest person”.
In my field of work, we are all trying to become this one vast knowledge bank, one who knows everything (or more than the other guy). This at least makes me aware of what I am doing and try no to overdo it.
Super articulation and amazing clarity !!
Amazing Insights! What an excellent piece of work
Man I Feel You Completely. I have been an Average all my life but i Don’t want to Accept it I Always wanted to be an Alpha. Being content with what someone has is very Difficult.
Such an interesting article and very beautifully narrated.
Applicable to most of us.
Thank you for this wonderful text.
Wonderful article!! I think it’s always relative, what is average for someone may be amazing for us. Similarly what is amazing for us may be average for society. At the end of the day, it’s whether we are content with what we have matters. Qualities like patience are not much rewarding in today’s time. But if you have quality stocks in your portfolio, I think that’s the single most important quality for wealth creation. Great article, keep sharing the knowledge.
That’s good acknowledgement. As long as the rest of life is well provided for, it’s good. If not, then the desire to be better will always be a bugging issue.
What you described is treatment for a common viral infection that entire society is suffering from.
I have tried in my life of 57 years so far to become immune & to make my kids immune to this viral infection.
It is LKK virus infection.
LKK means LOG KYA KEHENGE!!!!!
This LKK infection drives us to reach to other end of Bell shaped curve you plotted .
Being Average,does not yield thrill!
So rush to get out of it continues,& will always continue!
Enjoy watching it like peak hour traffic,Sir
Very well written Post
Same story everywhere. Some express, some don’t.
I am a psychiatrist and fully concur with your views. Very well put together.
You have crystallised what has taken me 67 years of mundane life to learn and come to terms with. If one feels with equanimity that one is average, just like any other person, that he is no one special, one will feel simple, humble, grateful and will be loving and understanding with all. This is the very path that leads one to lose oneself in this miracle of Creation and rejoice in the very breath he takes. All roads and fields of material existence and survival should lead to this realisation. Every human activity is a springboard to spirituality. You are on the right track, son!
Great piece of work, Safal!
Superb Vishal Sahab!
May I add:.
“The well-fed man has many problems….. The hungry one has only one.. ”
May I respectfully suggest indulging in this must-read book:
The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
by Jerome K. Jerome
http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/849
Thanks for the book link, Jairam.
During my early 20s, mostly in the last year of collage, I wrote in my journal that I don’t want to die mediocre. I revisited same almost twice a year and set a next course of action, but now it seems its more of a rat race and instead of aiming for “best among us” being content of “best mediocre” should be sufficient enough.
Thanks for enlightenment 🙂
True that one has to discover what one can contribute to this world but it can’t be in comparison with others.For this one has to accept himselfand that is the crux.You nailed it being average is not a sin to be ashamed of.One has to accept everything in his own tide . Thank you so much for the valuable insight.
Rajesh Malik
Hey Vishal every time I read your blog post it’s like my mind, body starts to restart my engine for learning to be average investor, write a book on “How to Invest “ write blogs about “How to pick stocks” your tweets, blogs, and your insight valuation is that how you can find gold from dust and be contend to path of your desires and gratitude to serve people. Great post!
Such a beautiful article, Vishal. Profound meaning of life explained in simple words. This also reminds me of this saying, “Even if you win the rat race, you’re still a rat”.
Excellent article Vishal…..I love all your post and specially this one has touched my heart deeply and I also believe this strongly that its ok to be average in this race where every single creature is running to finish the line at the earliest. One should be content and show gratitude for what god has given us. Now its our duty to teach our children to work hard and achieve the dreams but along with this having a feeling of contentment is also important to lead a happy n prosperous life….thank you once again Vishal for enlightening people /investors like me.
Hey Vishal every time I read your blog post . I am thinking as Warren Buffet says” If you doing. Average in stocks, bonds, or any investment Average stands out to be trailblazer. So your post about being Average is the stepping stone to happy life.
great to be a an averager
Very well put, it resonates with the common folk very closely. I am out of a 9 to 5 job now since 13 months, have maintained peace with myself and the surrounding hustle and bustle does not bother me, there are things that I now do which I could never think of attempting with a job and constant pressure to keep performing, it’s a choice that one needs to take and get on with life, the runway is long and you can do many things to make it more meaningful. Thanks.
Vow.. amazing post
This is one of the nicest (should I say average :-)) articles I have ever read. The problem is that Indian parents (when I was growing up in 1980s and 1990s) always listened to the news and their neighbors but not to their own Son. They always pushed hard on tuitions and complained how much money we are spending on you, or you will be be a beggar on streets. Indian schooling and parenting is the reason for one of the most unhappy kids in the world. I hope the parents learn this that average is fine. If their kids can be self sufficient and live their own life (not the bull shit like “shaadi kara do aur responsibilities daal do”) then we will have lot of happy kids. The media and parents watching TV and expecting their kids to fulfill their dreams should go and nice happy peaceful life should take over.
Felt and loved being average for the first time! Just hope to be out of the web of people’s expectations and just keep working hard for greater good of self!
Amazingly, when you are average in the field of investments and invest in Index funds, you beat all the hotshot “extraordinary alpha-seeking” hedge funds in the long run. This is absolutely true in developed markets like the US, as advocated and proven by Buffet. Another interesting allegory is the tortoise and the hare story, where the average tortoise ultimately beat the fast hare.
So being average is not bad after all.
An eye opener read for many of the racers (in life).. Thanks for the effort..
Very true Vishal. Many people including me go through this phase. And it takes guts to decide what you did. Lovely insights!
Very well written article Vishal!! Much needed for everyone in the society to ponder upon / imbibe. Today, everyone is seen in the race of “proving a point” – be it on road (aggressive driving, honking), be it in any profession. That is really lowering patience levels of everyone around. No one is ready to take a step back, relax and enjoy the journey of life.
Everybody wants best, but nobody strives to be the best.
So my view on “average” term in this article is, really from an “outside-in” perspective. There are two views : outside-in (what others perceive me) & inside-out (what i perceive about me). “Average” here is really about not subjecting oneself to what others think of me and, getting stressed out with that thought. But, in no way it means that one should not strive to be the best. Everyone should set personal goals and strive to achieve those, to have inner satisfaction, plus with an aim to savor the achievement too (eating your veggies concept mentioned in article).
Once again thank you Vishal for writing about it & provoking lot of us to think about it!!
Vishal. You keep amazing me, blog after blog. You are alpha +……+🤣.. Keep enriching us as only you can. Cheers..
After a long time i have visited your website and found this master piece of wisdom !!
Very nicely written Vishalji…
It takes a lot to be consistently average in this age !
Like all other posts of Safal Niveshak, it’s also very well written!
I feel lucky enough for finding this site, nothing more…
Amazing write up sir.
Being a young reader, I could totally relate to the instances of your early life examples of school and job.
Happy to see this, people are coming out, sharing their views opinions with an honest spirit, putting themselves forth. Moreover its even better to notice that the reaction that follows is also acceptable. Its like a more discussion oriented than criticism or conflicting opinions and this is the positive outcome that now we have started accepting our self being in all aspects from up to down or say for our thinking, perception, attitude towards our life without a hitch.
Today, we are surrounded by over achievers in our life but that is just a pie of a giant cake but that doesn’t mean that our life’s goal is to be a part of that pie. It’s totally different because we are different in our own way. Our mindset is different our expectations from our life is different.
Those who are doing great in their life, this greatness, achievement is a result of something and this something consists of ‘n’ number of elements. It can be genetics or a tragedy or a role model or a motivational source or even a compulsion or anything.
And its a myth that all will agree that happiness comes from money. It can be a reason but not fundamental. It is said that “there is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.” One should put a full stop if S/He thinks that somewhere in life a point will come when I will start cheering my life, that’s not going to happen ever.
what brings more satisfaction is learning. You will always find a new you every other moment, other day when you see yourself that you are a different and a better person.
Try vesting time and efforts in enriching your knowledge from a diverse field.
For a better understanding i would like to share just a small thing that i keep doing is inculcating all those managerial etiquette which makes me feel different than rest and this is what I love doing. Reason behind this is my dream of securing a top managerial post in Companies like Goldman Sachs , HSBC , JP Morgan to name a few.
To be precise just a qualifying degree and countable experience will not get me there so these are prerequisites for that.
So there is a reason, a purpose and figuring it out is the real challenge today. Mastering consistency, determination,a flow of constant motivation is the real challenge.
Once mastered it, you will encounter more challenges and there is much joy hidden behind it if one can start feeling it.
That’s all from my side, happy learning happy growing.
Good Wishes!
Thanks Vishal for this article it motivated me to pen it down.
While I agree with almost everything about this article and the message it conveys, I disagree with the diagram which says “Worst among us – criminals, scammers, drug addicts, etc”.
As a former drug addict, I went through my own hell & to come out of it was incredibly tough. But I did.
Addiction is NOT a choice – it happens.
You cannot put it in the same bracket as criminals, scammers or habitual offenders.
Just my opinion.
I totally agree with you Vishal…..it resonates with me very well.
I too have come a long way from “I want to be an achiever ” to accepting and rejoicing in the fact that ” I am average ”
In fact whatever success i have achieved,i consider it as Random….there are multitude of people who are more intelligent,more knowledgeable and more hard working….but i love myself what whatever i am .
Off course i am in a constant quest to improve myself,but my competetion is myself
The feeling is so soothing,so peaceful and so enjoyable
Thanks,Vishal for reinforcing the average in me .
First thing first, you are inspiring us in a big way. This is a wonderful post that will help many people become their best version.
This is a very nice article, I really like it. It’s informative and helpful for us.
Thank you for sharing with us.
That is a very bold stand. Can’t tell you how much your article has helped me. Thank you. I can’t help remembering the eighties song थोड़ा है थोड़े की जरूरत है, approximate translation – we have very little and that’s all that we need.
Thank you. Can’t tell you how much your article helped me. A big burden of guilt off my shoulders. Reminds me of the eighties song. थोडा है, थोडे की जरुरत है. We’ve very little and that’s all that we need.
Worse post I ever read. If you want to be inside the average distribution your gonna be there whole life. But the learning capacity of a average human being is tremendous and its up to you whether to decide if you wanna settle being an average or above average (extraordinary) . This post puts a thought on the readers that being in your comfort zone is fine and don’t don’t try to cross it. Those extraordinary people who the author mentioned were averages at one point of time. They stepped out of their comfort zone , pushed themselves and strived to be extraordinary. Are you encouraging people to settle within their comfort zone.?
Hi Akhil Ajith, I respect your opinion but here I would say you have misinterpreted the author’s context. He has nowhere clearly mentioned that we should not thrive for the excellence or we should feel ok to remain in our comfort zone. Even he had put efforts and came out of his cocoon. What basically he is trying to say is that we shouldn’t be relentlessly optimistic in our life. That would lead to self-destruction if we talk about the most extreme case of Panglossian nature of ours.
We are humans and its a one time life. So we must risk (caluculative) atleast for once in our life time. We must target to gain excellence to become expert but if unfortunately luck didn’t favour you then what??
So to avoid the repercussions of that failure over your mental as well as your physical health this article serves a lot and it will console you at that time.
Hope you realate.
Also, the article is not worst not even bad:)